He Called Me a "Fish Murderer"!!

When my Grandmom passed I inherited her iron cauldron that was kept at the barn, just outta site of the chicken coop. I got stories about that for another day! Well we keep the cauldron in our screened room with a St. Frances of Assisi statue, that has turned it into a fountain. Wayne brought home some tiny, what they call feeder fish from the pet store, he started training the fish by tapping on the side of the cauldron each time he went to feed them. So cute, they would just come running. Over the months those fish grew to be about 3 inches long, we had about 5 of them. While adding water to the "Fishing Hole" , which by the way had that battery operated fish plaque that sings "Don't Worry Be Happy" hanging above it, I accidentally slopped some water on the cords that the fountain part was plugged into. I ended up electrocuting Wayne's cute trained fish. Oh God they were all floating, and when I reached in to pick up one of the floaters, I received a shock too. Now I had to tell Wayne. He took the news better than I thought and proceeded to cover any exposed plugs with electrical tape. Back to the pet shop he went, more feeder fish and more training. Soon these little guys were coming up at the first sign of a tap to be fed. Wayne was pleased again, and again months passed and they grew to be about 3 inches long. Sooo one day I decided to clean out the "Fishing Hole", I scooped some of the water out of the tank and then netted the fish and put into the water in my bucket. Took the cauldron outside and cleaned out all the old fish poop, and washed all the rocks, filled it with fresh water and returned the fish to their home. Later that night as I was putting the dog out in the back yard, I looked down at the sparkling "Fishing Hole" and Holy Shit! They were all floating!! When Wayne heard all my commotion he came running out, looked down and and started yelling "Why are you Murdering all the fish"? "That's it, I'm not buying you anymore fish, ever again"!

So now we have a "Fishing Hole" sans Fish!
As time went by I told Wayne I wanted to build a little pond in the back yard, and you know husbands, they always have a million excuses why you can't do something. Not having the word never in my vocabulary, I went to the garage and got one of those blue tubs that have nylon handles on each side, that you might store kids toys in, and cut off the handles. It's about 2 feet across and 26 inches deep. I took it outside and measured around it, dug a hole up to the lip of the tub, sunk it in the hole, filled it with water, put in a pump and There you have it...a pond. I took a ceramic fish off my garden table, knocked a hole in the bottom and put a tube up through the fish and out its mouth and made my own fountain. When I showed Wayne what I had done, he was so impressed he took me to the Rock Yard, and bought me about 100 lbs of flat rocks to put around the lip of the pond. It turned out so pretty! I was well pleased with myself!

See how cute! It wasn't long before Wayne came home with a surprise for me, a bag of fish for the pond!! Well ok, here we go again, of course Wayne trained the fish to surface when they heard the tapping and he would feed them, he was soo happy!
Months went by, and over the winter with all the leaves falling in to the water, it was like a black hole, you couldn't see the fish at all. The leaves I guess had dyed the water such a dark brown. Well to me what was the use of having fish in the pond if you couldn't see them??? Right?? So I decided to clean out the pond, but having learned my lesson, I was not going to touch the fish, I took the hose and ran it to the bottom of the pond slowly filling it so that it would overflow, sending all the brown water out into the yard, leaving clean water in the pond. It was now so pretty and all the fish could be seen and were swimming around so happy! Ta Da!
UNTIL...Wayne went out to feed the fish...THEY WERE ALL DEAD AS DOORNAILS!!! Wayne didn't say a word, we fished them out of the pond, put them in a plastic bag and threw them in the trashcan. I have never asked for, nor has he ever mentioned getting fish again, What is it with me and fish?? I don't understand, but for now there will be no more, I just can't take the carnage! I now have a cauldron with no fish, and a pond with no fish..Truce..